Stuck

The scales just don't seem to be budging, I got properly back on track & have been sticking to my ww points but the scales just aren't moving. I have continued with my walking but not as much, going steadier as I don't want my sore spot to get worse. I do feel much slimmer though, since this last push I have started I have lost less than 4 lbs but I feel as though it is about 10lbs. I really should have measured myself as I have definately lost inches. I think the old cliche of muscle being heavier than fat is definately applying to me. I just hope I see some results on the scales for all my hard work soon. I must not give up!

My appointment with the doctor went Ok last week, on her scales I had only lost 1kg in 4 weeks so I wasn't very impressed. She did prescribe orlistat for me & I had my 1st day on them on saturday (I worked all day friday & couldn't risk the side effects) The day went really well food wise, I kept within the fat recommendations, we were at a barbie so I took my own chicken, I managed to ignore the olives & houmous which I love. I had none of the usual side effects, no change in habits! However I had a terrible night on saturday night with palpitations till 4.30am & a horrible taste in my mouth. I am very sensitive and can't tolerate too much caffeine/aspartamine. I had had 2 glasses of diet coke all day but one was just before bedtime so it could have been that. I will try again, possibly not till friday though, if I have palpitations again though I will ditch them. I have looked up the symptoms & palpitations are not listed but anxiety is, I didn't feel anxious though as I am used to palpitations, have had them for years, they just kept waking me up.

Anyway I will go, I lost 1 lb at ww last week, I think that is about all I should aim for, 1/2 - 1lb /week, our leader told us of a lady who got to goal losing 4 stone at 1/2lb a week. I just need to keep going & not give in because it's too slow.

Cheerio for now blogland, Milly x

Getting Lazy

I have been lazy about blogging & writing in my journal lately, I think that is related to my general laziness with my exercise and diet. I haven't fallen off the wagon but I have slipped a bit. My walking has had to be curtailed due to an annoying issue caused by walking. I have suffered with this twice before, I get a sore spot at the top of my leg that I think comes from an ingrowing hair follicle due to trousers rubbing when I walk, the last one I had was horrendous, I end up with a sebaceous cyst which takes about 3 mths to heal, during which time I can't walk much at all as it is painful, rubs the dressings I need to use off & just stops the healing happening. I sometimes just want to yell - I am trying so hard to improve my health & fitness, this happens because I am overweight but I can't seem to make any headway with getting to a more realistic weight. Last summer I had to stop walking due to bad hip pain, I rested & had physio, it is much better now but still plays up when I walk alot. I have stuck to my points but I am not choosing aswell as I was.

I just did 2 short walks last week(3 miles) plus a few school runs. I gained half at ww but it was day 1 of TOTM, I actually felt slimmer, my scales are still not working so I have no idea what is happening weight wise now. I had an ok weekend. We went to family wedding on Friday & my dress fitted much better than at end of March, despite it being TOTM. It was still a bit snug but it is about the only size 16 clothing I can wear at the moment (which is why I bought 2 bikinis in a size 16!) I think that was a bit of wishful thinking!!!

I have walked this am after schoolrun, my hubby is away this week so evening walks are out of the question, the big 5 miler is not an option either as my daughter won't stay happy in the pushchair for that long & she comes with me on my daytime walks. I have had a busy day today, 5 kids, 2 dogs & 2 12 week old pups are alot for 1 person to keep up with, I have done alot of housework today aswell. Shattered now but I need to stay up to keep the pups company for a bit longer, hubby normally does that as I like to be in bed by 10.30 usually.

I have an appointment with my gp tomorrow, last time I saw her she weighed me & said if I lost 1kg (or more) in 4 weeks she would prescribe Orlistat for me. I think I have probably lost about 2kg in 4 weeks. I am really not sure what to do. I am so tempted to try it as I feel like I just need a bit of a helping hand, I never feel that my weight loss reflects my effort, it is always so very slow for me. Since she weighed me I have stuck to ww approx 85% of the time & it is usually alcohol that takes me off track at the weekend, not food. I have not had any major blowouts, have really reduced my intake of bread, eaten 2 chocolate bars all mth (which were counted) I also haven't eaten any of the activity points I have earned, I just offset them against my wine at the weekend. I probably haven't eaten as much fruit & veg as I should but my exercise has increased dramatically. I feel much better than just a 2 kg loss though, I am definately slimmer, my spare tyre is reducing, I just feel generally slimmer all over. I think I will see what gp says, if she thinks it is a good idea I might try it. I am terrified of the side effects though!

I need to get back to feeling motivated, I feel abit low tonight, like I am not getting anywhere & yet that contradicts what I have just written. I am bloated this evening and have had a hungry day, could have eaten a horse but have stuck to my points. Argh! why is this so difficult? I am back to thinking that I will always be fat. Glass half empty. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow.

Milly xx

Damage Limitation

Our weekend away went well, we had a lovely time, just me & my lovely hubby. We always get on better the more time we spend together & sometimes our extremely busy lives get in the way of 'us' so it was great just to spend time with him. I nearly wanted to come home on Saturday am when my mum told me that my daughter had cried for me in the night, I felt very mean as she is a darling & doesn't cry much. I held it together though, she was fine the next night & was really pleased to see us at lunchtime when we got home, she didn't seem remotely traumatised or clingy so I thing she coped well in the end.

Food went down very well, I enjoyed everything I ate, we had a fabulous lunch in La Tasca on Saturday & I drank a moderate amount of wine. I did find that I couldn't finish some of my meals so hubby helped me out. I don't know what the damage will be, the battery has gone in my scales & I don't think I'll replace it for now, it can make me have a bad day if I weigh in & it's not favourable. I am pleased to say I have been for a walk this evening as planned, I aim to be back properly on track with food tomorrow (today hasn't been horrendous). The only down side is that I have TOTM coming up this week so will puff up like a balloon, we then have a family wedding on Friday when I will wear the dress that I felt so uncomfortable in at wedding in March. I am really hoping it won't be as tight but totm fluid will not be my friend in this, I am just hoping it is not at it's worst or the dress will just not do up. I have no alternative, no money to buy one or time to shop. So I will just keep hoping for the best. Scary pants will have to work their magic (again) I dread the wind taking my skirt and blowing it up, I look like Mrs Doubtfires bodysuit in my scary pant/short thingies.

Anyway, time to quit waffling and head to bed, I have a very busy week coming up and want to still fit in pleaty of walks. I will report back soon, Milly

Good news

I haven't posted in over a week but that isn't because I fell off the wagon, I stayed on well, coped well over the b/h weekend with just a bit of alcohol over my points, that was compensated for by all the miles I walked as I didn't eat any of my activity points. My mileage was similar to last week & the last walk I did on wednesday I actually enjoyed - hurrah! It was a slighter slower pace as someone new was with us, I still felt tired & sweaty at the end but not exhausted on the way round.

Anyway now for the good news - I lost 2 lbs!!! amazing loss for me, I feel slimmer, much less bloated, jeans are fitting better & everything doesn't hurt so much. It is working & I am so glad I got over my despondency.

The only problem is that me & hubby are away this weekend in a hotel, no kids. I will try to choose well but I find it very hard to disipline myself in such circumstances, time off to me means time off everything. I intend to get back walking on sunday evening & I think my knee will benefit from a few days off walking no further than around a huge shopping centre tomorrow. It has been a bit sore & I don't want to end up injured.

My total loss for the last 3 weeks is 3 & 1/2 lb, I know this is incredibly slow for most people but it is good for me, the consistency is great & I feel as though I am still living along the way.

So I am going to chill but not go mad today & tomorrow, then straight back on track on Sunday am, I will pick the healthy breakfast in the hotel. I never go particularly mad, I don't binge, I just sometimes eat more high calorie snacks than I need & ofcourse indulge in the liquid cream cakes (alcohol).

Anyway, enough waffling, must go & get on with clearing up my house a bit so my mother can find her way around when minding the kids & dogs this weekend. Cheerio, Milly x