As the title says, today I start again. I am ready to do all the things that make me feel good about myself and fitter. I don't know why I do what I do, I think this time was definately comfort eating due to hubby being away. I also get mad with my body, I think I punish myself with food abit, crooked thinking I know, I think that my body doesn't work properly anyway. I just wish I could punish myself by not giving in to cravings & food desires.
I don't actually struggle that much with cravings, it's definately not physical why I overeat. I also ask myself if I really need the extra food, the answer is always no but I know I will eat it anyway, it is as though I have given up control (rather than lost it)
I will at some point get my head around myself, I need to forgive my body for letting me down & I need to forgive myself for not suceeding in this area of my life. I think my self worth takes a bashing everytime I do this to myself, I end up feeling like such a failure, other people can do this, why can't I?
I am whining again, it's all I seem to do at the moment, it feels self indulgent and I think that is very telling, I have not spent any time/money on myself for years, I am bottom of my own heap but it is me that has put me there, only me can get me out (you see I even think that is too many me's!) me me me! I am trying to be kind to myself, when I am I feel lazy though, there is always so much to do.
I better get going & get on, cheerio blogland, Millyx
No comments:
Post a Comment