Struggling again!

Oh what to do with me! I think I am reacting to stress! We have alot on at the moment. We have a lovely litter of pups who are about ready to go & I always hate this time as I stress about the homes they are going to & I dread that I will be suckered in & one of our beautiful pups will end up on a puppy farm. I am happy with the 2 that have homes already, their new owners seemed great & just what I would want but their are still 4 to go & I need to chill!

I am also stressed because we thought we were expecting another litter in 2 weeks but she is not looking pregnant at all, it is her 1st time so we have no history to go on. If this is this case I am going to have to look for a job. I gave up my job as SCBU nurse last August as it was just too much working with 5 kids. I had struggled for a while (since 2004 when I became hypothyroid) Financially I need an income just don't know what to do! I don't really want to go back to scbu as the intensive care side was very stressful & the long hrs wore me out & I would rather stay home with my little one, however I may not have a choice. I have so much going on in my head!!! We have also retired our little dog from breeding as she has some allergy issues that are as yet not fully resolved. I can see us ending up with just the one breeding girl & she won't be having anymore pups until next summer. I wouldn't get anymore dogs as they live in the house with us & I won't compromise on that & we do not have enough space for anymore.

Anyway, the result of this is that I couldn't be less motivated, I am shattered, achy & mardy(think totm is about a week away so that would explain the mardy bit.) I really need to get my mojo back & soon, we have a holiday booked in 12 weeks & I really can't go looking like this!!! I made the mistake of trying some leggings on in Next today, wow those mirrors are cruel! Needless to say I didn't buy them, it was a bit of a wake up call for me though as I didn't realise my legs had got so chunky. Sometimes a bad experience like that can really motivate me, not today though-although at this point I am still sticking to my ww points. Hubby is taking me to the pub for tea though & I really need to chose carefully & drink my bodyweight in wine!

Anyway I must go, I apologise for my moans again, I do like to get all this written down as it seems to straighten out lots in head, I think there is only Lesley ever reads it though! So thanks Lesley, you know I always appreciate you wisdom.

Adios blogland.

Oh yes, on a positive note, I only gained 1/2 at ww last night, easter didn't do too much damage!